How are you doing?

"How are you doing?" is probably the most  common question I've had since Ari's been born. So I'm going to lay down some truths, lol.

Some days are better than others.
Obviously, there's lots of factors that contribute to this but I would say overall, things get better/easier and then you have a bad day or 2 and re-figure out what works for you.

I dread night time.
It's so hard to know if this will be a good night or bad. Adam says there's no sense worrying about it because she's going to do whatever she wants regardless. I told him if I had a choice in feeling anxious, I obviously would choose not to be.

Sleeping patterns.
The best ones we've had have been the following:
Finally get her to sleep at 11.
She wakes up to nurse at 2.
Back down by 3.
Up at 5:30.
Back down by 6:30.
Start day at 7 with older girls while she sleeps.
Does that happen every night? Oh I wish.

Last night was a rough one. I attempted to go to sleep early about 10:45 but didn't fall asleep until Adam and she were in bed at 11:30. Then she woke up at midnight and screamed through 2 nursing sessions and finally went to sleep at 3:30. Yes, 3-1/2 hours of crying. Both she and I.

She's not gaining the way Drs. want.
Even though she has plenty of wet/soiled diapers so I'd been supplementing to get some peace because she seemed to cluster feed at night. They wanted me to up it to 2x a day. Formula is not a magic cure since I'd used it twice yesterday and we all know how that night went.

I'm tired.
Duh. The mornings are hardest to get up but once I'm up, I can make it through the day ok. It's great when Avi and Ari both nap at the same time. Still working out the kinks on that.

I feel like I never want to do this again.
Adam's exact words are "I'm getting too old for this". Lol.

Her sisters love her.
Avi is always wanting to kiss and hug her. Bri loves holding her and goes on about how cute she is.

Newborns are hard on marriage.
I miss having meaningful conversations with Adam. It seems like we are barely keeping our heads above water but we are surviving.

First few weeks were a blur.
Adam had the flu. Nursing/latch/weight gain problems. Baby blues. I did a lot of crying. I sometimes still do.

Blessed.
I feel very lucky to have been able to carry/deliver her and am glad she's here to love on and take care of.

Meal Trains.
People really stepped up and we had food brought to us for 2-1/2 weeks. Thank you to those who helped with that.

Car Loading/Unloading.
It's not terrible but I'm still worried Avi is going to be running away in the parking lot. Getting the hang of it though. It's nice to have at least one kid who can buckle themselves (Bri).

One-handed everything.
It's amazing what you can do one handed. And although it's not one handed, I'm able to nurse and write this post thanks to a nursing pillow, lol.

That's all I can think of for now. Thank you to everyone who's checked in on us and been a support to us. We appreciate it so much!


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