6 months...

I've been a mom of 3 kids for SIX months already. Geez! Time is flying.

The first week of August was World Breastfeeding Week and I shared 7 pictures of me breastfeeding to spread awareness. Now, I'm not sure how much good it did but I hope it did some. I've been thinking about my first real goal in breastfeeding was to make it 6 months and through blood, sweat and lots of ugly tears, we made it. There's my little badge ;-).

Now I know that posting about it probably hurt some feelings or ruffled some feathers because I think people assume that if you're pro-breastfeeding you must not like moms who formula feed and I will tell you that is so far from the truth for me. I will break it down for you.

• Bri: I had a ton of trouble and got the hang of it by going to a lactation consultant. You know what? I hated it. I remember asking my friend Keri when I could quit (she was 3 months old I think). She said she did it for a year and didn't know how to help me. I knew I wouldn't last that long. It helped that we got WIC so we didn't pay for formula. I'm being real because I'll always be too cheap to pay for formula. If I hadn't gotten it for free, I wouldn't have started it I think. Anyway, I think I was done by 4 months with her.
• Avi: Champ nurser! I went back to work when she was 8 weeks and pumped. I was working really hard to lose weight, getting up at 4:30 am to get to the gym by 5, go to work, then come home and doing what we needed at home. I was exhausted but wanted to do it as long as possible. Anyway, I weaned because the person I was taking over for at my job, I thought he was going to be leaving soon and I wouldn't have the coverage at the front to go pump (he stayed 3 more months, ugh. Oh well.) I think we got WIC for a while with her too but I do remembering paying for it toward the end of her first year. So, 5 months with Avi.
• Ari: 3rd kid, come on! How hard could this be?! Um. HARD. She did not latch well for the first month or so. She was not gaining weight like the doctors wanted so I had to supplement for a while. Then, she wouldn't take the formula. I cried and cried and cried some more. The 4th trimester (the first 3 months) are a blur. I know I cried a lot though.Thankfully, my friend Crystal told me to keep persevering and I'm glad for her little pushes. So if I post that you CAN do this and that it will be hard but so worth it, just know I'm coming from a good place to ENCOURAGE because I know that made a difference for me. We are going on 6 months and counting.

Now, I wanted to make it 6 months exclusively but Ari was not nursing that well and getting fussy like she needed more. With about 2 weeks to go til 6 months, we slowly started on solids. I just didn't want to go to the Dr. for them to tell me to supplement so I started solids instead. That comes with its own struggles but that's a different post for another day.

So, I will not pretend that these past 6 months have been all bliss. I think looking back at my older posts, I make that pretty apparent. I am honest and blunt, to a fault.  I was really struggling at the beginning of the summer with everything. I had been in contact with my midwife since Ari was born, going back and forth about how I was dealing with everything. So, after a few months, she recommended a low dose of Zoloft. 

Now, I'm not anti-drugs at all. I was on Zoloft for a year after I had Bri but I was scared to start them if I didn't need to. It wasn't bad days all the time. It was just a bad morning could ruin my whole day and it was hard to crawl out. Midland Child and Family Services has a great program for postpartum depression moms that they can get services until baby's 1st birthday. So I decided I'd try therapy first and see if I could get some tools to deal with my anxieties or if talking to a neutral party would give me better perspective before I tried the drugs. So, I've been doing therapy for a couple months now and I'm happy to report I'm doing much better. If you're thinking "Why would she tell the world that she's going to therapy?" It's because I'm not embarrassed and you shouldn't be either. For you or for me. It does not make me weak and I think we could ALL benefit from therapy. I might not need to go until she's 1 but I'm glad to have the resources if I do. Don't be afraid to ask for help! 

I know the next 6 months will be as much of a whirlwind as the past 6 have been. I'm excited for what's ahead!

Anyway, here's a virtual cookie for making it all the way to the end of the post!

Thanks for reading!